I know. I know. It’s a tired thing by now- me and phone calls.
It just takes so much! Sometimes I get to talk myself into it, other times just no, you know?
I mean it’s a ridiculous feeling but at the same time it isn’t. Like just what is it I’m afraid of anyway?
And sometimes when I try to reframe I say to myself well just say this or that. Key words. Use key words. The other person isn’t going to eat you. You just need to sayaskrequest(notdemandthough) what you have to and that’s it. And I can imagine myself nodding along agreeing saying yeah I can do that but then of course I start asking… well what if this is asked or what do i say to this or that or just everything or if the person on the other line is less than nice or WHAT IF THEY CAN’T UNDERSTAND WHAT I’M SAYING BECAUSE MY VOICE IS STUPIDLY ANNOYINGLY SOFT OR THE WAY I TALK IS I DON’T USUALLY MAKE SENSE AND I TRAIL OFF… EVERYONE SAYS SO and I. Just. Don’t. Know. :(
And that isn’t even working right now :( Because the person I need to sign for something is away and everything else is complicated. :(
And why the hell do I care so much?! :(
And this is always so frustrating :(
And relating to people can be so frustrating :(
And I should really stop overanalyzing but I can’t help it. Sometimes I just want to stun me but it’s not like that will help any.